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I've always been rather fascinated with Hollywood celebrities, due in part to my Uncle Jim's involvement in The Industry. He was the relative I most admired, the one who'd escaped Casper after high school, moved to New York City, got a job working for LIFE and later People, and only returned to our little shit-hole town for Christmas, and for barely 72 hours at that. When he'd visit, he'd have amazing stories from his interactions with movie and music stars: coming to blows with Arnold Schwarzenegger, getting the clasp on his watch caught in Tina Turner's wig, seeing Michael Jackson at a museum "disguised" wearing one of those Groucho Marx nose/eyebrow/mustache glasses. He knew their secrets (Donald Sutherland takes off his clothes at parties); he won their friendship (he has this really hideously gaudy ring given to him by Liza Minnelli). He wrote a book on the starlets from "classical" Hollywood -- Return Engagement -- and we'd watch old black-and-white films together while he'd dish out the dirt on who'd slept with who, who'd "named names," who was a drunk, who was a bore.

Nevertheless, I probably won't watch the Oscars tomorrow night. I don't own a TV, so there you go. I've considered going down to the local arts cinema; they have a party and screen the awards show. But I have a lot to accomplish this weekend, and I'm not sure I can justify giving an evening over to smack-talking those on the Red Carpet. But without a doubt, I'll be keeping an eye on Twitter (you're gonna backchannel the show, right Roger?) to see who's won and to hear the gossip.

Twitter gives all of us an "Uncle Jim" of sorts, as the tweets of celebrities frequently reveal things that the smoothly coordinated studio-arranged press conferences or the happenstance/horrible paparazzi won't/don't/can't. I'd never argue we see "the real" person via Twitter and the like; it's all performance. But Twitter and other social media add an interesting dimension to the "star text."

Exhibit A: Amanda Fucking Palmer on "Fame Whoring" Exhibit B: Jezebel's regular feature, "Tweet Beat"

Audrey Watters


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Audrey Watters

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