I get a lot of press releases:

Tomorrow morning at [time of day. subtract 45 minutes if you are from the NYT], [Company name, vowels optional], a [location]-based startup will launch its latest [feature, Wordpress template, Facebook game, mobile app, round of funding, viral video]. This means that [Company name] is poised to revolutionize [discussion forums,communication, entertainment, the tech industry, everything, anything]. With the changes we've made to our product, we now boast [email, Twitter integration, a Facebook "Like" button, HTML5, the cloud], which we think makes us the leading solution for [life, the universe and everything]. We see ourselves positioned with this move tomorrow to become the next [Farmville, Chatroulette, Google]. You can see our [blog, YouTube video, whitepaper] for more information, but be sure to check out what [Robert Scoble, Alyssa Milano, my cousin] recently tweeted about us.

Bonus points when the pitch is really personalized:

Hey [Dude, Audrey, Audry, Techcrunch],

I noticed that you like [tattoos, technology] and I see you are brand new to [my radar, RRW, RWW, ReadWriteWeb]. I read your post on [link to most recent post, elevator pitches, Ning ditching the freemium model] and think you'd be interested in my new company. [Company name, vowels optional], a [location]-based startup will launch its latest [feature, Wordpress template, Facebook game, mobile app, round of funding, viral video] ...

Inspired by the Startup Job Advertisement Mad Libs on Learning Curves.